the T.O.B

Los Angeles is a tough city, but play your cards right and you’ll never have to pay for anything ever again. There is a lot of money in this town. The only thing you have to do is find a generous gentleman — or gentlemen — to help you out.

I know it sounds terrible at first. When I first moved here from New York, I was hell-bent on doing it myself. Feminism had gotten us this far and I wasn’t about to revert to some exploitative game where I depended on guys to get me where I was already going.

The problem with this world view is that it ignores that this isn’t an even playing field - especially in L.A. It doesn’t matter what your talents are — hundreds of people are pouring in to Los Angeles every day to do the same thing for less, and even for free, just to get a mention or say they did it.

Don’t underestimate this town’s obsession with youth. Young means more beautiful, more affordable, and more adept at this Internet and technology stuff everyone has suddenly become so crazy about. Do you want to spend your youth busting your ass to get noticed doing small parts and small jobs, hardly able to enjoy yourself because you’re so worried about how you’re going to pay your bills? Wouldn’t you rather relax, unwind and let someone open the door of opportunity for you? These guys don’t just have money, they have the contacts - and in this town, it is all about who you know.

You’re not using them — at least not more than they’re using you. What, do you really think that the guy who bought you a drink last night thought you had a striking personality and great character? Sweetie, nothing registered there above your cleavage. Guys in Los Angeles know that there are girls pouring into this city every day. Their options are limitless. They’re in no hurry to find someone to settle down with.

If you’re surprised about not getting a call from him the next day, don’t be. The revolving door doesn’t foster accountability. Men don’t have to call back and they know it. And if they do, don’t expect it to be at a decent hour with plans for a romantic candlelit dinner.

You’re not going to find love here — at least not for long, not with the stream of women who are younger, thinner and less jaded constantly strutting in — so why not get something out of it, too?