the T.O.B

History lesson! According to the current rules of succession in the Commonwealth realms (AKA, the House of Windsor, AKA, the British royal family), boys take precedence over girls.

I’ll explain how this works: say Prince William had had an older sister. Even though she was the first-born, according to the current rules of succession, she would have been skipped over in favor of her younger brother, Wills — and after William, the second in line would have been Harry, allowing the hypothetical older sister to become queen regnant (a woman who rules in her own right, as opposed to a “queen consort,” a woman who is the wife if a ruling king) only after. Meaning, probably never. Royal women have for centuries been seen as rulers in cases of emergency only, their thrones usually usurped because of their gender.

No longer. On Friday, the 16 nations over which Queen Elizabeth II rules (the UK, Australia, the Bahamas, Canada, Barbados, Belize, Jamaica, New Zealand, Papua New Guinea, the Solomon Islands, Tuvalu, etc.), agreed unanimously that girls are to have equality with boys in terms of succession.

The British monarch has been around how many centuries? If we go back to Alfred the Great, we could argue it’s been one thousand years. That’s how long it took the monarchy to decide to allow women equal rights with men in the line of succession. Is this a victory? More than anything, it’s a reminder of how blatant gender inequality continues to be even contemporary society.

We just added a new feature to this site that we’re super excited about! Now you don’t only get to ask us questions, you have the opportunity to submit entire posts to theTOB.com! Go over to the right-hand navigation and scroll down to see the list of options. We’re looking for submissions from women who have stories to share about how they get the most out of their dates! 

We look forward to hearing from you, ladies!

BY JESSICA JANSON

A gorgeous woman with brains can get any man she wants. And cock? That is ridiculously easy for us. Men are sluts and we have all the power when it comes to sex. In this male dominated society, most of the money belongs to men. People take men more seriously, it’s easier for men to make money and be successful because they are not spending most their time being the primary caretaker of the children — an unpaid profession, and people look at men as powerful and capable, while women are seen as largely vulnerable and emotionally weak.

Already, women are at a disadvantage for making money because of our gender alone. Yet we have the power of our bodies and sexuality, which men do not have. Thus an equal exchange of assets is not wrong and with this phenomenon, my industry survives.

Yes, he’s hot, but women by nature are looking for providers, a man that can bring home the meat. A hunter. And men instinctively, are looking for a woman with good genes that can bear healthy children and make him happy sexually. This is survival of fittest, Darwinism at its finest. This is why we need to stop wasting our time with broke ass losers who just want some good pussy and arm candy. Men like that stifle evolution. He goes out in the wild and comes home with nothing for you? What gorgeous amazon cave woman is going to want to fuck a man like that? A stupid one.

What is he doing for you? Does he make more money than you? If your power gets turned off, will he help you and pay your bill? If the answer is “no” then you need to get rid of him. All men should be helping their women in some way whether it’s paying her bills, helping her get a car, helping her with her business, or taking her shopping. Notice how horny you get when your man buys you something or fixes something? It stimulates our hypothalamus — the part of our brain that plays a role in our emotions and bodily urges. When a man helps us or takes care of something, we are confident our man will protect us, provide for us, and this causes our bodies to want to procreate with that man. In short: it makes us horny.

So, you want to be my boyfriend? Until you can help me out, I’m going to keep hustling guys for money and having my set of sugar daddies. You want me to hang up my stilettos and get rid of all my valued customers? That means you have to take over. And those are some BIG shoes to fill.

Los Angeles is a tough city, but play your cards right and you’ll never have to pay for anything ever again. There is a lot of money in this town. The only thing you have to do is find a generous gentleman — or gentlemen — to help you out.

I know it sounds terrible at first. When I first moved here from New York, I was hell-bent on doing it myself. Feminism had gotten us this far and I wasn’t about to revert to some exploitative game where I depended on guys to get me where I was already going.

The problem with this world view is that it ignores that this isn’t an even playing field - especially in L.A. It doesn’t matter what your talents are — hundreds of people are pouring in to Los Angeles every day to do the same thing for less, and even for free, just to get a mention or say they did it.

Don’t underestimate this town’s obsession with youth. Young means more beautiful, more affordable, and more adept at this Internet and technology stuff everyone has suddenly become so crazy about. Do you want to spend your youth busting your ass to get noticed doing small parts and small jobs, hardly able to enjoy yourself because you’re so worried about how you’re going to pay your bills? Wouldn’t you rather relax, unwind and let someone open the door of opportunity for you? These guys don’t just have money, they have the contacts - and in this town, it is all about who you know.

You’re not using them — at least not more than they’re using you. What, do you really think that the guy who bought you a drink last night thought you had a striking personality and great character? Sweetie, nothing registered there above your cleavage. Guys in Los Angeles know that there are girls pouring into this city every day. Their options are limitless. They’re in no hurry to find someone to settle down with.

If you’re surprised about not getting a call from him the next day, don’t be. The revolving door doesn’t foster accountability. Men don’t have to call back and they know it. And if they do, don’t expect it to be at a decent hour with plans for a romantic candlelit dinner.

You’re not going to find love here — at least not for long, not with the stream of women who are younger, thinner and less jaded constantly strutting in — so why not get something out of it, too?

There isn’t enough respect for the gold-digger. We have somehow forgotten that going for gold is as deeply entrenched in American culture as anything else, and here in California most of all. The California Gold Rush in the mid-1800s once attracted hundreds of thousands of people to the west coast from this country and abroad. Fans cheer the 49ers during games, seemingly making no association between their favorite NFL team and the many people who came to California for gold in 1849 — 49ers, do you get it now?

One of our most cherished first ladies, Jacqueline Kennedy, was a gold-digger in her own right. Men used to joke that they loved Jackie, but they didn’t have enough money to date her. It’s true. She vetted her men not only by their intellect and ability to amuse her, but by their assets.

People say “gold-digger” like it’s a bad thing, like looking for a way to profit is somehow suspect. We live in a time when most people have left conventional work. They’ve taken to the internet to develop sites that will draw revenue, and to create start-ups that they can sell for millions. Are we not all gold-diggers?

Just because there is the potential to generate incredible gain doesn’t mean there is no risk involved. There is always risk. And just because the work cannot necessarily be seen by others as work does not mean it isn’t legitimate. A pretty girl can get all kinds of attention and gifts from men. Facebook gets billions by using and selling the information you put into it.

At least with the pretty girl you’re aware of what you’re giving and what you stand to gain in return.